The education basketball challenge.

This school year has been awesome. In many ways, I have the gift of time. At least, it seems that way while the school year slowly begins. There is a community day middle school program on the campus of the elementary school where I work in SoCal. Due to this gift of time, I am co-teaching every Wednesday morning with the resource specialist. The counselor only works four days a week, so we take over her rotation on her day off. Today has been week 2. I really enjoy it. It is challenging and tiring and amazing to work with such incredible students. They are smart and funny. Figuring themselves out and testing their boundaries. They're still young enough to humor me and share their super hero name and power.

Today the RSP and I performed a play that supplemented the curriculum the counselor is using. It was a play on trustworthiness. One of the characters in the play, Holly, wanted to steal a shirt. Her friend, Megan, convinced her to split the cost and share the shirt. Words like 'integrity, trustworthiness, principles' were used. My co-worker and I challenged some of our students to write their own play with their own scenario.

We quickly learned that some students had stolen before and would do it again. We learned that some students want to but won't. One student had already shared how he worked over the weekend to earn money to buy a game in November. I work in low-income area. The gang in the neighborhood is on the rise, so I hear. Some stories I've heard throughout the years include: jail, hunger, neglect. Their stories are beyond what I can imagine as a white, middle-class woman who grew up in a rural town with very little diversity.

Two of the students decided their scenario would be seeing an autographed Kobe Bryant basketball at the Laker stadium. They insisted upon stealing it for the first half of the time allotted to complete the assignment. Finally, they wrote an ending with so many cops it would be impossible to steal it. Perhaps they were being sarcastic the entire time. Perhaps they were serious.

This incident made me think about several difficult things. Race and class are at play. There are ways in which I cannot relate to my students. There are elements in their environment I will likely never understand. I did not grow up in an area with gangs. Neither of my parents went to jail. I was well-fed and cared for by my parents, even today as an adult this is true.

But I had a great idea while driving back to work for Back To School Night. Given the gift of time in not being able to sleep, I have written a rough draft of a letter to Kobe Bryant. How powerful would it be for those two students to receive a signed basketball from Kobe? How powerful is the gift of grace? Well, it contains the power to transform a person, a life.

30 isn't all that scary

30 can be a daunting number.

I certainly dreaded turning 30 last year. Knowing Jesus began His ministry at age 30 was encouraging. I had a party the day before my birthday to say good-bye to my 20s. I had a doble-quincinera on my actual birthday. I celebrated well and included God in my celebration, so my birthday parties didn't become an idol (like on my 28th birthday).

But still, on my birthday eve the dread kicked in full force. I was terrified. I was about to be 30, and I was still single. I have a job I love, wonderful family and friends, a church community, and a cat. I was afraid 30 would solidify my status as a crazy cat lady for the rest of my life. It felt like I would officially be old.

Here's the secret, young readers. The dread of 30 is much worse than turning 30. Being 30 has been great. God has worked on my heart and helped me face some truths that I've avoided my entire life. He's provided a dance troupe to indulge me in one of my favorite hobbies. He's been teaching me about listening prayer and strengthening our relationship.

Yes, there are days I feel, but that feeling passes.

I think the secret to aging is that no one actually feels old. It's a progression. I learned so much in my 20s, but I wouldn't go back. Sure, one day I will notice the wear and tear on my body and grieve that loss. One day, I will have gray hair. Yes, I've already found a few, but I thank God for my blonde hair! There will be things I do not like, but there will also be pearls of wisdom or other experiences I have yet to discover but will treasure.

So as it turns out, I actually like this new decade. I never would have guessed it, but there you have it. May numbers go back to being just numbers and not saddled with expectations. 30 is not the new 20. 30 is 30. And I think it rocks.

2 truths and a lie

One of my favorite ice breakers is Two Truths and a Lie. Mostly because I have quite a few random stories that I don't ever think to share.

For example, can you identify which factoid is the lie?

1. I met Trent Lott, then a Senator, in 2000 as a tag-along with a friend during a Law and Advocacy conference in Washington, D.C. In 2002, he made a controversial statement about Strom Thurmond's presidential candidacy.

2. I wrote an essay in high school that prompted my dad to set up a meeting with the principal. I ultimately received an apology from the principal for his dismissive behavior toward me.

3. In seventh grade, I was hit in the head with a softball at a Red Sox vs. Indians baseball game. I still remember the player who threw it into the stands; and I'm still slightly bitter about it.


It's not easy to sift through truth and lies. Sometimes I don't like the truth. Other times, I've internalized the lie as true. Or, lies can tweak the truth, like I did with the lie above.

Because it's trending, I made a list of various lies I tend to believe. I present to you...

5 ways of saying the same lie:

1. If you stop that bad habit, you'll finally be happy.
2. If you learn a new habit, you won't be sad anymore.
3. If you win that person's approval, then you'll like yourself more.
4. Happiness can be a permanent feeling if you work hard enough.
5. If you want something enough, then it will happen.

I may be able to identify the lie in a blog post, but it's not necessarily easily discovered in my thought process day to day.

I'm working toward internalizing this truth: "I am fearfully and wonderfully made" (Psalm 139: 14).

I did not create myself. I did not do anything to exist. Why do I keep telling myself that I have to do certain things to be wonderful? Why do I see my value as something that needs to be earned? Because I've believed a lie.

In fact, I actually think God has revealed to me the source. It is both exciting and scary. It means a lot of work. It means no longer accepting lies as comfort. The comfort never lasts, anyway. It means trusting God. It means seeing Him show up. It means my mourning will be turned into dancing (Psalm 30: 11).

It means I will learn to call a lie a lie. No matter how twisted and sparkly it looks.

Community is a verb

Grammar lies aside, I learned something about community on Tuesday. My church encourages people to join 'community groups.' A gathering of people who live life together. Typically these groups discuss the sermon or a book and do fun things like bonfires at Ocean Beach, potlucks, or a weekend trip to Mexico.

In the past year, I've had a hard time sharing my deep down prayer requests. Sure there would be some depth, but I was too scared to dive in and splash everyone with my neediness. Definitely a pride issue. I hate asking for help. Must be why I'm prone to cry. Tears are like flare guns.

So on Tuesday, I knew I needed to ask my community group for help. I was terrified, but I knew it was the one thing I needed to do. Their response was overwhelmingly amazing. I knew they'd be cool, but their love and support filled me with warm fuzzies. In asking for help, I received it. That mean, judge-y voice only exists in my head, and it's a lie. Choose who ask carefully.

Whatever you do, don't be a noun about it. Participate!

Final bucket list item

After 6 years and 11 months in San Diego, I finally went surfing. Keep in mind, I had wanted to go surfing when I first moved out here in 2006.

The waves pushed me around, and I ate salt many, many times, but this did not keep me from loving every minute of it! I almost stood up, but I was content to ride the waves on my knees.

I aspire to continue surfing now that I'm back in San Diego, though it will likely have to wait until after I return from NY.



P.S. the picture is of me on the zipline, because I don't have a picture of me surfing, but the zipline was really fun, too. And after having to be pushed off the zipline the first time, this is a picture of me after having pushed myself off of the second line. So the spirit of accomplishment is represented.

Bucket List #1

So, this is my last full weekend in my 20s. How does one commemorate the end of a decade?

Well, I can say I ended my 20s with a bang. Literally. I rear-ended a parked car last week. It was my first real accident, so I suppose I cannot complain. Diction is very important. When someone says "just back up" that implies there is nothing at all behind you. Minor accidents in the past include love-tapping a parked car (I was a teenager, though), knocking off my side view mirror (I think I backed into a garbage can), and a deer hit my car. Yes, the deer ran into my car. I think the lesson here is that I need to look behind me in my 30s when I am in a moving vehicle. This is how wisdom is made.

There were, however, fun things I have accomplished this month. I went to Ostrich Land and touched ostriches and emus.

I also walked into a drive-in movie theatre. It was epic. (pun intended, since I saw the movie 'Epic')

I only start to feel old when I compare myself to younger people, so I've stopped doing that. My 20s were fun, but I don't want to go back. And if I do say so myself, I look much cuter now than I did in my early 20s. This trajectory will eventually end as I climb the upward hill of age, but I will always be beautiful in Christ ("it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight." 1 Peter 3:4).

As for my non-completed bucket list items, I will most likely have surfing lessons at the end of June during the Urban Life summer camp. Regarding reading my poetry at an open mic night, well...maybe I'll make everyone at my birthday party listen to my poem that will be published in June and call it good. 

Perhaps turning 30 will hit me as I start telling people I am 30 years old. Maybe 31 will be hard, as 30 seems to have more bragging rights than 31. Or maybe once I'm settled into my 30s, like 35. Or maybe, just maybe, I will embrace every new year with a smile and a celebration with cherished friends and family. 

Bucket List #2

April was an exciting month!

#missionweek2013, #weouthere, #urbanlife kicked off the month with a week long retreat at a church in La Jolla. High school students (from City Heights, mostly) served the community in City Heights. It was rowdy, exhausting, and fun. You know, how youth ministry is every day.

During Mission Week, I learned a beat. The week after that, I wrote some lyrics to go with the beat. I haven't "performed" it for anyone, but it exists. I created something to a beat. My first step toward spoken word? Maybe, if I actually speak it to people. Thanks, #bestfriend.

I also found out that I will have a poem published in June (most likely). A childhood dream come true. Ok, my dream was to publish a novel but a poem will do. Another first step? Perhaps. Maybe, if I'd actually make some time to write.

Oh, and I ran a half marathon two days ago. Actually, 13.5 miles. I ran more than a half marathon. Well, I jogged...the entire time...#praiseJesus.

Suggestions for bucket list items in May are welcome. Surfing scares me, actually. So does an open mic night.

Anyone want to help me plan a flash mob on June 2? Even if we gather a bunch of people and perform the Wobble. I can teach you, if you don't know.