Social Experiment: Update!

Oh yes, there is an update.

Here's what I'm referencing: http://smileyface5.blogspot.com/2010/10/social-experiment.html

If you're like me, then you're too lazy to click on the link and read my previous post. Summary: In October 2010 ,I went out with some friends to the same spot 2 nights in a row. Saw the same guy twice. I had given him my number the first night, but I never heard from him. Shocking.

Fast forward to June 2011. While home, I received a random voicemail from some guy named Kevin looking to talk to an Erin whom he met in Las Vegas. While I had just recently went to Las Vegas, I had not met a Kevin. There was no "Hangover" plot during my first trip to Vegas. Well, you'll just have to trust me, since what happens in Vegas stays there.

I ignored it, because I didn't get it until several hours after he left the message. I figured he had figured out that he had dialed the wrong number.

Lets fast forward a tiny bit more to last week. I receive a text message from a phone # that is not in my address book. I ask who it is; he tells me his name is Kevin. I tell him that I do not know him. He was looking for an Erin Reese. He's trying to figure out how he knows me. I'm certain I don't know him and assume he must have entered a phone number wrong of the person he had met. So he finally says, well maybe we met at a bar. October 2010 flashed in my mind. Oh...yes, we met at Blue foot. He pretends he remembers me but gets all the details wrong.

I haven't learned my lesson either. I gave out my phone number last night. I was very surprised to receive a text message from the guy today. Just before church, of course. God has impeccable timing. I think dating is a social experiment I will never fully understand. It's a good thing I don't mind trial and error...

Loneliness in the digital age

I am an only child. I live alone. I'm introverted. I am single.

It should not be surprising that I have moments in which I feel lonely.

It's a feeling a loathe. I try to avoid it, a twisted hide and seek dodgeball kind of game. Despite my Herculean efforts, the loneliness persists.

Smart phones are not smart. Keep in mind, I am biased because I have yet to jump on the smart phone bandwagon. Also, let me be clear, I am not judging those of you with smart phones. They are quite convenient, especially the map/GPS function. I have definitely benefited from that function. I am merely commenting on this new cultural phenomenon.

As I was saying, smart phones seem to be more codependent than smart. People check them frequently. Even I, with my "dumb" phone, will check my phone when I feel lonely or bored.

E-mail, twitter, Facebook, text messages. People are connecting through written text. It's a wonderful thing. Perhaps it's my introverted side protesting, but I am cautious of being constantly available via the internet and/or smart phones.

What about time for reflection?

And now I must confess that I avoid time to reflect. It's something I want to do but have difficulty making time for it. Facebook sucks me in every time.

My point is that despite the instant connections through smart phones, loneliness persists.

Is there a cure for loneliness?

The cure is quite a process, but, personally, it has involved me cultivating a relationship with Jesus Christ. I realize this might sound contrite. As meaningful and incredible as my journey has been (and will continue to be), I have no idea how to explain it. Partially because I still do not understand it myself.

All I know is that God has pursued me. He has saved me from the choking yoke of sin. After accepting Jesus as my Savior in 2009, I lost 40 pounds through Weight Watchers. I learned healthy eating habits and realized the value of hydration. I started running with a dear friend, who kept me accountable (she still does 2 years later!). I thought God was so cool. Last year, I first struggled with God. Things were not going my way. My weight was up and down like a yo-yo. I broke up with my boyfriend, partially for reasons aligned with the word of God. Yet, I felt sad and lonely. It did not make sense to me. I thought following God's will was associated with joy. I became angry about feeling sad and lonely. After 7 months, I finally admitted that I needed to see a counselor. God's presence during my counseling sessions is undeniable. It's a precious gift that reminds me He is pursuing me. It has been a painful and difficult process. I'd work so hard to be in control. I became so frustrated that I gave up. I wrote in my journal telling Jesus it was up to Him, because I was done. That's when things turned around. I'm still learning; I'm still learning to seek God instead of my stand-by idols. I'm still developing my relationship with God.

I still feel lonely, but I know it does not mean I am alone. God is always with me.

1 Corinthians 3:16
Don’t you know that you yourselves are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in your midst?

Who says you can't go home?

My memories swirl between fuzzy and clear and back to fuzzy. This post is probably the best way to preserve my memories before my recall distorts what happened. Here are some highlights, in no particular order, as my memories do not follow a chronological order.

1. Thunder, lightning, and rain. Alas, my family and friends already had their fill of rain, but it's a novelty for a girl from San Diego. I never thought the rain would be a delightful homecoming.

2. Practicing my golf swing. From a swing and a miss to a high arc.

3. Coming in 2nd place during a 5k race in Rouses Point. I averaged a 10 minute mile and there were 7-8 people in my age range.

4. Seeing deer. I saw a deer with my bestest friend as well as while walking with my mom. Walking is another highlight.

5. Visiting my bestest friend 3 times. Our smiles and laughter outnumber grains of sand. Who knew marshmallows equaled happiness.

6. A celebration of 10 years post high school graduation with a very special retired English teacher.

7. A flash rainstorm while dining in Lake Placid. Soggy calamari and chips never tasted so good.

8. Visiting family. Nothing beats being adored by younger cousins and reconnecting with family who knew me when I was knee-high.

9. Chocolate world, chocolate world, chocolate world! Watching my mom take a jello shot at 9 in the morning and going to see Kid Rock and Sheryl Crow in concert with 2 of my cousins.

10. Adopting a gag from Big Bang Theory in which I offer my Dad a "piece of chocolate" as positive reinforcement.

11. "Helping" my mom prepare for the family cook out. The first 20 minutes had us doubting the effectiveness of working together. Baking raspberry streusel muffins and banana bread. Making white chocolate chip macadamia nut pancakes and eating pumpkin pancakes.

12. Eating so many delicious things, including a michigan and an ice cream cone from Harrigans.

13. Sitting in the swing with my dad watching the river. I always miss the fish jumping out of the water.

14. Seeing the stars twinkle while walking outside from my room to the house to use the bathroom in the middle of the night (when else would I see stars?).

15. Floating down the river in an inner tube with my mom; chilling in the river while drinking a milkshake with Bailey's.

16. Drinking wine, snacking, and catching up with my favorite friends from Rouses Point.

17. Going to bed at 9 pm, having the power go out at 9:36 pm during a storm, waking up at 2:52 am to drive to Vermont. And now, I'm leaving on a jet plane. San Diego, here I come. Adios, East Coast.