I continue to slack as a blogger since I've begun writing daily devotionals. I love writing my devotionals and spending that time with God. I've also begun to crave more time with God. I've been writing in my prayer journal to really process my thoughts and my faith. My blog is no longer my main venue for spiritual processing. I would like to make it an official goal to post an entry once a week. I will likely post Sundays. Perhaps I'll post after the youth ministry on Tuesdays or after my pseudo-flock meets on Thursdays. I giggle at the thought of having a flock. Besides, it's Jesus' flock. My ego is always butting in.
Today Stephen referenced Ephesians 3:20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.
Lately I've been working on giving God control in my life. How to explain...I trust God. I know what I want to happen. God knows what I want to happen. God also knows everything that will happen. He has the best vantage point from which to make decisions and guide me. God listens to our prayers, but He also gives us what we truly need. Things we may not realize we need.
Not being in control can be scary, but it's also been really comforting, liberating. He's looking out for me. He knows what will happen in my life and has already planned accordingly. At least someone knows! I cannot tell you how many times I say "I don't know" in a given day.
I'm still astounded at the words that come out of my own mouth. I'm saying that I give my life to God. His will be done. My memory is vague, but I'm fairly certain I would have been very judgmental if I heard someone say that back when I was in college or even when I first moved to San Diego. It sounds laissez-faire. It sounds lazy or like a way to avoid reality. To my knowledge, I'm not using it that way. God is my refuge. I place my complete trust in Him. I'm a mess. With God, however, nothing is impossible. While I'm often tempted to handle problems myself, I see the most success when I place my trust in God.
So I strive to fix my thoughts upon Jesus, because He brings comfort, peace, joy, and love. He quiets fears and shares hope. He is a sanctuary in a broken world. I am broken; Jesus fixes me. I require repair daily. If I were a car, I'd be sitting in a junk yard. But Jesus does not give up. He is a master mechanic. He uses us as vehicles: whether it's giving rides to teens or living life in community to share love and forgiveness through Jesus.
Stephen was right today. The religious are an obstacle to Christ. There are no rituals that need to be completed to access God or Jesus. It is not our job to judge others (unfortunately, if we're honest, we're all guilty of this). Jesus called us to love each other. He came to forgive our sins and to bridge the gap between God and man.
Developing a relationship with Jesus has been an incredible journey. He's changed my life. I still make mistakes. I am still a sinful being. While I was exploring Christianity I always felt as if the fact that we still sin once we are forgiven is overlooked. Accept Jesus and everything changes; everything is great. It's true. But we still make mistakes. Jesus is perfect for us. He strengthens us to live more like Him. He understands we have many challenges. He forgives us. He heals us and our relationships. For this, I praise Him. For this, I am thankful and so filled with joy I want to shout!
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