The Journey

I have reservations about the title of this blog. It is not a reference to the band, but it is a reference to a Linkin Park song, "In the End" from their Reanimation album. I have always been captivated by the words, "The journey is more important than the end or the start."

I often become so preoccupied with the destination that I can often fell contempt toward the journey.

Right now I am on the most incredible journey with God. I am learning to go to Him as my Father. I am seeing answering my prayers, pursuing my heart, and fulfilling my desires. He is showing me how to use my talents and gifts. I see it transforming how I provide therapy for my students. I am learning to trust my intuition in addition to the facts.

Two weeks ago I struggled with loneliness. "Struggled" is an understatement. I went to church two weeks ago, and tears streamed down my face with the force of an avalanche. Once it started, there was no stopping it as it grew exponentially. God knew I would not ask for help. I would not reach outward. My tears showed my friends I needed help. I still need to work on asking for help, especially with my dishes, since my wrist does hurt.

God met me in my loneliness. He used my precious community group and other friends to reach out. He has used my daily devotionals to bless others. He has used those who read my devotionals to bless me by reminding me of my own words. My brokenness is part of my testimony. I am a fragile little girl who has been kept hidden. I see a counselor through my church. She has mentioned 2 powerful images from the Bible. I used to be the disciples who shooed the children away from Jesus. Jesus makes it very clear we are not to do that.

An image I am striving for is connected to the story of the Samaritan woman at the well. Jesus asks her for a drink of water. Jesus tested her when he inquired about her husband. She answered honestly, admitting she had none. Jesus knew how she had been seeking fulfillment from men. He did not rebuke her. He told her that He was the Messiah.

My current journey is a way of cultivating a deep well within me of living water. It is a place where I can go to quench my thirst for God, and I will also be able to pour out a glass of cool, refreshing living water for others who thirst.

It is a blessing to see God affirming my talents and using me on His behalf. Two weeks ago I loathed the journey. It is not easy, but God is with me. He meets me where I am, so part of me wants to this journey to last longer than is necessary. This is a very special time with God; some details of the journey I want to savor alone.