Suck it up

I decided to run the La Jolla half marathon earlier this year. I have been looking forward to it. I never thought I'd run this race as the course goes up Torrey Pines. Twice a month, I have run (or walked) up that hill.

Thursday at work my throat felt scratchy. An hour later, I had sore throat. Friday I stayed home from work and nestled in my bed. Today I am feeling better. My sore throat is gone, but I am congested and lacking energy.

I had to make the difficult decision to NOT run.

Perhaps you're wondering why it's a difficult decision. Perhaps it seems like a no-brainer: If you're sick, don't run.

For me, however, my gut reaction is to suck it up. Do it anyway. Adapt. Find a way to make it happen. I don't shy away from things that seem impossible or improbable. I believe one day I will set fire to the rain (or more likely, God will let me witness rain setting on fire). I don't like to give up. I don't like to admit I cannot do what I planned to do. I am human, and there are times when I hate it.

So, I am learning to receive grace. I can be human and still be forgiven. Good news, indeed!

Tomorrow morning I will sleep in. I will go to church. I am thankful that God provides for me, even if the race fee seems like a waste (or just a really expensive t-shirt). I will remind myself that it's ok to be limited in what I can do. That's it's better to take care of myself than to chase after idealistic expectations.

I'm human, and that's ok.