I think God does make us feel like He needs us, even though we need him. Even though, I forget that I need God. He still loves me and desires a relationship with me. From the meetings I schedule at work to dance classes and social events with friends, I realized that I really need to schedule a date with God. He's been waiting patiently.
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Mother Teresa: feeling needed
On page 273, Mother Teresa wrote "His [God's] ways are so beautiful. --To think that we have God almighty to stoop so low as to love you and me and make use of us--and make us feel that He really needs us."
Summer Day
You are the
Hair swaying breeze
Encompassing blaze
Cruising bicyclist
Ambling man, tanned and bearded, in rolled up blue jeans
Rolling water in the bay
You
Composed this summer day
From the conversations,
Passing vehicles, to the
Steady beat of runners.
We are
Your instruments
Ready to be played.
Thunder
On Friday, I asked a student to say a sentence with the word "thunder." The boy, a first grader, asked me, "What's thunder?" I paused. I, apparently, had forgotten I was in San Diego. In the four years I lived here, I've heard thunder less than five times. I provided a brief explanation and then said another word for him to use in a sentence.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Speechless
Today I worked with a student. I started assessing him last school year in May. The end of the year became so busy (at least 16 IEP meetings in the month of June--14 work days) that I decided this evaluation could wait until August.
He is in second grade; he's big for his age. He looks like he will grow up to be a football player, defense. I asked him what he liked to do at home.
He said his family was poor and that he did not have any toys.
That's when my heart broke. I didn't know what to say, so I asked him what he liked to do during recess. He likes to play wall ball.
When this student describes a picture, he tells a story. His stories are dialogue driven. It is my goal to help him harvest his talent, so he can become a story-teller. So while he is sitting in his house, his imagination can bring him anywhere he wants to go.
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Take it to the berry farm
[photo credit: Kansas Corley]During our trip, Alex and Ali were writing a list of Southern phrases for Dorly to learn. One of those phrases was "take it to the berry farm." Being a damn yankee, I had never heard it before. The phrase, however, quickly became our call to prayer.
In the picture, I'm talking with Wilbert. He was one of our interpreters; during that conversation he asked me about God's purpose in my life and shared God's purpose in his life. I'm going to share his vision with you and ask you to take Wilbert and his ministry to the berry farm.
He founded a ministry called Tabitha Home. It is named after Tabitha, the woman who served widows (and orphans, I believe). She had died, but Jesus saved her. Wilbert is serving Jesus by serving widows and orphans in Carrefour.
From August 16 to the 27, he will be preparing to train 35 youths in book-binding so they can earn money to help them pay for school. The goal is to give them financial independence, a way to provide for themselves. The actual training for the book-binding will be August 26-27.
He sent me a written outline of the project. I think what he is doing is incredible. I see Jesus working through him, and it is beautiful. I wish I knew what to write to make you feel how I feel about this ministry.
I feel like my experiences in Haiti was a real life demonstration of what I've read in the Bible. The faith of the people is steadfast. I saw God loving the poor. Wilbert's project is designed to support the youth, so they can work toward economic independence.
Please join me in praying for Wilbert, this project, and for the 35 youths. Wilbert would be so touched to know that others are praying for his ministry. Lets take it to the berry farm, y'all!
Prayer Requests from Haiti
Some of these stories I have already posted, but here is a comprehensive list of prayer requests from or for people I met during my trip to Haiti.
1. Vina: I met her in the Fort Lauderdale airport. She also missed the flight from Fort Lauderdale to Port-au-Prince because of the delay at the Philadelphia airport. She grew up in Haiti; she had returned in 2001 but had not returned since. I asked her to tell me about Haiti in case I was not able to fly out the next day. She told me the people were resilient and the food is delicious. I can confirm that statement! She was on a missions trip and then was hoping to stay longer to visit family, depending upon whether she felt safe or not.
2. Clint White, Matt, and Geftay. These three gentlemen picked me up from the airport. It was a blessing to run errands with them, to witness a day in the life of a missionary. Please pray for them to be patient as they follow wherever Jesus leads them. May they continue to spread the good news in Haiti; I ask that the hand of Jesus be present in all of their conversations and interactions.
3. "Sumen" and Jonas. They lived 2 houses down from where we stayed. "Sumen" is pregnant and requested a good day for when she gives birth. She also requested prayer for her husband. Jonas and his wife asked for prayer to strengthen their spiritual life as well as unity within their relationship. They have two sons who receive tutoring after school.
4. The construction project: I believe the building was intended to be a church, but once it has a roof the building will be a school. May the building be sturdy and used to glorify God's kingdom.
5. The Sons of God orphanage. I only visited once. There is a possibility of requiring a new building. I pray that God continues to provide for them; He has a special place in his heart for orphans, so I trust He will sustain them and fill them with His love.
6. Guy Emmanuel, his mother, brother, cousin, and various other people in the house. Guy Emmanuel asked for prayer to help him provide for his family. His mother praised God. We met Guy and his family while walking around the neighborhood on Thursday July 22.
7. During that same excursion, a man called out to us from a tent city. He said, "I'm so glad to see you here" and "Come!" With Zick's approval, we walked down the steps into the tent city. He was sitting under a large tarp/tented area with a woman. There were several mattress lining the perimeter. The tent was set up where their house used to stand. I believe the woman asked for things to go back to the way they were before the earthquake. She wants a home again. I trust God will provide her with a home.
8. All of the children we met throughout the trip. May they grow up in God's love and seek Jesus as their Savior.
9. Vanessa, Dahlia, and Olsheen. Vanessa felt sick; Dahlia just wanted prayer in general.
10. Alisha and her mother, Geraldine. After the earthquake, Alisha had been under debris. Alisha had a fever; the medicine had not helped. Alisha also needed surgery for a swollen area near her pelvis. May God heal her! Geraldine requested prayer for a visa to go to Santo Domingo and buy goods to sell in Haiti.
11. Jimmy requested prayer for his thoughts.
12. Michelle asked us to pray for her family, to keep her strong in God, and to be protected.
13. Joseph makes coin banks in a tent city. The way he meticulously works on those coin banks is a manner of praising God. He earned a decent sum of money from our group, so I pray that God protects him as well as continue to provides for him and his family. Joseph is a mason but does not have a job.
14. Pastor David, his wife, and all of the girls they have staying with them. We stayed at Pastor David's house. His ministry developed in November 2009. His ministry is exorcism. Many of the girls at his house were once possessed by demons. I pray Pastor David continues to drive out demons in the name of Jesus. I ask God to protect Pastor David and his family. His wife has such a beautiful singing voice. May she continue to sing your praise, God!
15. The interpreters: Zick, Dorly, Wilbert, Phanor, Ernst, David. May the interpreters be kept safe and continue to spread the gospel throughout Haiti. May they continue to share their faith with all of whom they meet. It has been such a blessing for me to have met them.
Please reread often and pray with me.
1. Vina: I met her in the Fort Lauderdale airport. She also missed the flight from Fort Lauderdale to Port-au-Prince because of the delay at the Philadelphia airport. She grew up in Haiti; she had returned in 2001 but had not returned since. I asked her to tell me about Haiti in case I was not able to fly out the next day. She told me the people were resilient and the food is delicious. I can confirm that statement! She was on a missions trip and then was hoping to stay longer to visit family, depending upon whether she felt safe or not.
2. Clint White, Matt, and Geftay. These three gentlemen picked me up from the airport. It was a blessing to run errands with them, to witness a day in the life of a missionary. Please pray for them to be patient as they follow wherever Jesus leads them. May they continue to spread the good news in Haiti; I ask that the hand of Jesus be present in all of their conversations and interactions.
3. "Sumen" and Jonas. They lived 2 houses down from where we stayed. "Sumen" is pregnant and requested a good day for when she gives birth. She also requested prayer for her husband. Jonas and his wife asked for prayer to strengthen their spiritual life as well as unity within their relationship. They have two sons who receive tutoring after school.
4. The construction project: I believe the building was intended to be a church, but once it has a roof the building will be a school. May the building be sturdy and used to glorify God's kingdom.
5. The Sons of God orphanage. I only visited once. There is a possibility of requiring a new building. I pray that God continues to provide for them; He has a special place in his heart for orphans, so I trust He will sustain them and fill them with His love.
6. Guy Emmanuel, his mother, brother, cousin, and various other people in the house. Guy Emmanuel asked for prayer to help him provide for his family. His mother praised God. We met Guy and his family while walking around the neighborhood on Thursday July 22.
7. During that same excursion, a man called out to us from a tent city. He said, "I'm so glad to see you here" and "Come!" With Zick's approval, we walked down the steps into the tent city. He was sitting under a large tarp/tented area with a woman. There were several mattress lining the perimeter. The tent was set up where their house used to stand. I believe the woman asked for things to go back to the way they were before the earthquake. She wants a home again. I trust God will provide her with a home.
8. All of the children we met throughout the trip. May they grow up in God's love and seek Jesus as their Savior.
9. Vanessa, Dahlia, and Olsheen. Vanessa felt sick; Dahlia just wanted prayer in general.
10. Alisha and her mother, Geraldine. After the earthquake, Alisha had been under debris. Alisha had a fever; the medicine had not helped. Alisha also needed surgery for a swollen area near her pelvis. May God heal her! Geraldine requested prayer for a visa to go to Santo Domingo and buy goods to sell in Haiti.
11. Jimmy requested prayer for his thoughts.
12. Michelle asked us to pray for her family, to keep her strong in God, and to be protected.
13. Joseph makes coin banks in a tent city. The way he meticulously works on those coin banks is a manner of praising God. He earned a decent sum of money from our group, so I pray that God protects him as well as continue to provides for him and his family. Joseph is a mason but does not have a job.
14. Pastor David, his wife, and all of the girls they have staying with them. We stayed at Pastor David's house. His ministry developed in November 2009. His ministry is exorcism. Many of the girls at his house were once possessed by demons. I pray Pastor David continues to drive out demons in the name of Jesus. I ask God to protect Pastor David and his family. His wife has such a beautiful singing voice. May she continue to sing your praise, God!
15. The interpreters: Zick, Dorly, Wilbert, Phanor, Ernst, David. May the interpreters be kept safe and continue to spread the gospel throughout Haiti. May they continue to share their faith with all of whom they meet. It has been such a blessing for me to have met them.
Please reread often and pray with me.
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Confession of an Elder Brother
I am reading two books; lately, I've been reading The Prodigal God: recovering the heart of the Christian Faith by Timothy Keller. It is a book that gently illuminates different ways to sin against God's authority, while celebrating the gospel of our Savior and merciful God.
The entire book discusses Luke 15: 1-3, 11-32.
Keller describes how the elder brother sins in his righteousness. He expects special treatment from his father, because he has earned such treatment by being obedient. He is upset when his father does not meet these expectations.
During my trip to Haiti, I would talk with the interpreters. It felt like I was frequently explaining that I did not have a boyfriend; the response was typically "I'm so sorry." Perhaps it was an apology for assuming I had a boyfriend, but that was not how I interpreted it at the time. My response was: don't be; it's a good thing.
In processing my single-dom with a friend, I realized how blessed I've been throughout the healing process. The process continues, but I've seen substantial progress since June. Looking back I could see how God had been sustaining me since April.
When reflecting how i felt from April to June (maybe July?), I was angry with God. I was a self-righteous older brother. I knew I was following God's will by becoming single. Since the will of God is good, I felt that I should not feel sad about the break-up. I became angry when I realized that I did feel sad. Even in the moment, I could see hints of God sustaining me. Only now do I have a clearer sense of how much God was doing within my heart.
After multiple moments of disobedience, I thought God owed me for one moment of obedience. How dare I feel like God owes me something.
Psalm 51: 4
Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, so that you are proved right when you speak and justified when you judge.
God owes us nothing, but He loves us too much to abandon us. The irony is that God truly has sustained me in the manner I thought I deserved. In my self-righteousness, I thought God would sustain me because of my obedience; the truth is, God sustains me because He is a loving, merciful, and gracious God who sent His son to pay the penalty of my sins.
I'm writing about this (in more detail than I'd prefer to share), because I think it is far too easy to stray along the self-righteous trail. Feeling as if God owes me is a sin that saddens me; I cannot imagine the pain in God's heart as He watches me waiting expectantly for what I think I deserve.
2 Corinthians 7:10
Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death.
The entire book discusses Luke 15: 1-3, 11-32.
Keller describes how the elder brother sins in his righteousness. He expects special treatment from his father, because he has earned such treatment by being obedient. He is upset when his father does not meet these expectations.
During my trip to Haiti, I would talk with the interpreters. It felt like I was frequently explaining that I did not have a boyfriend; the response was typically "I'm so sorry." Perhaps it was an apology for assuming I had a boyfriend, but that was not how I interpreted it at the time. My response was: don't be; it's a good thing.
In processing my single-dom with a friend, I realized how blessed I've been throughout the healing process. The process continues, but I've seen substantial progress since June. Looking back I could see how God had been sustaining me since April.
When reflecting how i felt from April to June (maybe July?), I was angry with God. I was a self-righteous older brother. I knew I was following God's will by becoming single. Since the will of God is good, I felt that I should not feel sad about the break-up. I became angry when I realized that I did feel sad. Even in the moment, I could see hints of God sustaining me. Only now do I have a clearer sense of how much God was doing within my heart.
After multiple moments of disobedience, I thought God owed me for one moment of obedience. How dare I feel like God owes me something.
Psalm 51: 4
Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, so that you are proved right when you speak and justified when you judge.
God owes us nothing, but He loves us too much to abandon us. The irony is that God truly has sustained me in the manner I thought I deserved. In my self-righteousness, I thought God would sustain me because of my obedience; the truth is, God sustains me because He is a loving, merciful, and gracious God who sent His son to pay the penalty of my sins.
I'm writing about this (in more detail than I'd prefer to share), because I think it is far too easy to stray along the self-righteous trail. Feeling as if God owes me is a sin that saddens me; I cannot imagine the pain in God's heart as He watches me waiting expectantly for what I think I deserve.
2 Corinthians 7:10
Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death.
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