It should not be surprising that I have moments in which I feel lonely.
It's a feeling a loathe. I try to avoid it, a twisted hide and seek dodgeball kind of game. Despite my Herculean efforts, the loneliness persists.
Smart phones are not smart. Keep in mind, I am biased because I have yet to jump on the smart phone bandwagon. Also, let me be clear, I am not judging those of you with smart phones. They are quite convenient, especially the map/GPS function. I have definitely benefited from that function. I am merely commenting on this new cultural phenomenon.
As I was saying, smart phones seem to be more codependent than smart. People check them frequently. Even I, with my "dumb" phone, will check my phone when I feel lonely or bored.
E-mail, twitter, Facebook, text messages. People are connecting through written text. It's a wonderful thing. Perhaps it's my introverted side protesting, but I am cautious of being constantly available via the internet and/or smart phones.
What about time for reflection?
And now I must confess that I avoid time to reflect. It's something I want to do but have difficulty making time for it. Facebook sucks me in every time.
My point is that despite the instant connections through smart phones, loneliness persists.
Is there a cure for loneliness?
The cure is quite a process, but, personally, it has involved me cultivating a relationship with Jesus Christ. I realize this might sound contrite. As meaningful and incredible as my journey has been (and will continue to be), I have no idea how to explain it. Partially because I still do not understand it myself.
All I know is that God has pursued me. He has saved me from the choking yoke of sin. After accepting Jesus as my Savior in 2009, I lost 40 pounds through Weight Watchers. I learned healthy eating habits and realized the value of hydration. I started running with a dear friend, who kept me accountable (she still does 2 years later!). I thought God was so cool. Last year, I first struggled with God. Things were not going my way. My weight was up and down like a yo-yo. I broke up with my boyfriend, partially for reasons aligned with the word of God. Yet, I felt sad and lonely. It did not make sense to me. I thought following God's will was associated with joy. I became angry about feeling sad and lonely. After 7 months, I finally admitted that I needed to see a counselor. God's presence during my counseling sessions is undeniable. It's a precious gift that reminds me He is pursuing me. It has been a painful and difficult process. I'd work so hard to be in control. I became so frustrated that I gave up. I wrote in my journal telling Jesus it was up to Him, because I was done. That's when things turned around. I'm still learning; I'm still learning to seek God instead of my stand-by idols. I'm still developing my relationship with God.
I still feel lonely, but I know it does not mean I am alone. God is always with me.
1 Corinthians 3:16
Don’t you know that you yourselves are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in your midst?
Don’t you know that you yourselves are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in your midst?
I love seeing God's leavening agent folded into your soul. Indeed, we are a codependent people. We were made for dependency on a loving Father whom we reject in big and small ways all the time.
ReplyDeleteWho knows the cure for loneliness? Some of my most lonely times have come amidst some of my favorite people doing my most favorite things.
But I do know one thing. The only thing we need to fill our lives up with is Christ. Everything else is a jelly donut.
Erin, I'm not a follower of Jesus, but I feel your pain and frankly it surprised me. I see you as someone who is selfless and good-willed. An outgoing woman who always has a smile on her face. Your lack of punctuality just means you're not a slave to time! I hate watches too. :) I hope writing this does help ease your frustrations and give you the opportunity to enjoy the here and now. You definitely deserve it!
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