A lesson from a child of God

Since I've returned from Haiti, I've been trying to find a way to return. Finding a Haitian church in San Diego brought me closer to the spiritual high I felt in Haiti. Returning to my routine in San Diego after such an intense 5 days in Haiti has been difficult. I've been trying to fully comprehend my experience and the powerful friendships that were formed. Psalm 139: 6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.

In reading Adam McLane's blog entry this morning "Seeking Euphoria" (www.adammclane.com), I was forced to examine myself in the mirror. I was seeking Haiti; I was seeking the spiritual high I felt there. I realized, however, that I was truly seeking God. I was looking in all the wrong places. Hebrews 12: 2-3 Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

Then, I remembered Christina Vincent [photo credit: Jeffrey Dick], whom I met during Vacation Bible school (VBS) with neighborhood kids on July 24. That morning, our group leader, Branden, had talked about loving people and analyzing our actions to assess whether or not love is our reason for acting. I kept that in mind all day. During VBS, I was able to love Christina. She held my hand before we arrived at the church; she led me to a bench to sit on before VBS began; we sat together during the lesson and during the craft project. You can see her coloring her star clapper in the picture. She accepted that we could not talk to each other. I had enough French to tell her my name and ask for hers. She sat in my lap and touched my hair and skin. I hugged her and rested my head on hers. The heat had consumed my energy. I had spent my siesta talking with Wilbert and packing; I only dedicated a few minutes to rest. I was so thankful that she understood, that we could just sit next to each other. She accepted my love; we both shared in Jesus' love.

When it was time for my group to leave, I felt a pang of sadness. I watched Christina and it was clear that she had already accepted that I was leaving. She was continuing to move forward. Perhaps, she was continuing to seek God.

Now that I'm back in San Diego, I can rejoice in my memories from Haiti, but I cannot seek to relive them. If God brings me back to Haiti, I will experience God in a new way. Following Christina's example, I will accept wherever God brings me. I will embrace new opportunities, accepting the end of familiarity. I will put all of my faith in God. I experienced a fullness in God while I was in Haiti. I will experience it again when Jesus returns. I will seek God, not Haiti. Idols come in all shapes and sizes...